Dude, you were looking at web stats and laughing

I was surfing tumblr the other day and came across a quick list of oneliners in response to the statement, 'Dude, I wasn't THAT drunk!' A quick copy and paste and I posted it to Jokeindex

'Dude, you were in my closet yelling, 'where the f*ck is Narnia?' 'Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo.' 'Dude you hugged a hobo with a white beard and cried; DUMBLEDORE YOU'RE BACK!' 'Dude, you took my hat and muttered: Not Slytherin...' 'Dude, you asked your own girlfriend if she was single...' 'Dude you cut all of my pineapples and kept yelling: 'Spongebob where are you!!'

A couple days later I checked the web stats and the phrase 'Dude, I wasn't that drunk' or some variation of it was suddenly accounting for almost 15% of my search engine traffic -- keep in mind, I get a LOT of traffic from search engines on words ranging from 'intellectual jokes,' 'cucumbers,' and ' ketchup and liquor' (which gets you a joke worthy of a 5th grader…)

Sure, I expect 'boner' to be way up there… let me rephrase that. I expect a lot of traffic to my classic Batman cartoons where the Joker tries to get Batman to pull a 'boner' (the ever changing English language can be so much fun). I was amused by the spike in traffic for 'End of the World Jokes' on May 21, 2011, but I wasn't surprised.

It disturbs me that I get so much traffic on the phrase 'little boy nude' not because I have a dumb joke about a boy embarrassing his mom and dad but because someone actually searched on the phrase 'little boy nude.' But then, humor out of context is always a little disturbing, and looking to the psyche of humanity through the words they have in their search history is even more disturbing… (you should see how many people use racist, dirty, nasty words for their passwords…)

But as disturbing as search results and keywords may be, I'm rarely surprised. Then, I post this amusing little collection of oneliners and suddenly I've got hundreds of new visitors from 30 different countries -- that's right, 'Dude, I wasn't THAT drunk!' is an international phenomenon. Or as Google Translate likes to say

Dude, ma ei olnud nii purjus

Dude, ez nengoen mozkor dela

Dude, ég var ekki drukkinn

Dude, mwen pa t 'ki bwè

Dude, ik was niet dronken

Dude, ego non quod bibitur