Johns Daphne vs. Jack Daniels
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The substitutions are the best part... an upside down number 1 instead of the 7 in "Old No. 7 Brand" and instead of Tennessee Sour Mash it's "Tenderness Sour Mash Whiskey" which makes me think of a creepy Chinese Sling Blade.

But, not only do they cheat you on the brand, but it's only .72 liters!
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